Macy's Bat Mitzvah

What is a Bar Mitzvah anyway?

Many people are surprised to find out that "becoming bar/bat mitzvah" happens automatically when a Jewish boy or girl reaches the age of 13 and or a girl 12. The ceremony that today occupies center stage is actually a historical afterthought, with evidence of observance only from sometime between the 14th and 16th centuries. Because the ceremony marks reaching the age of majority, many traditional Jews observe it on the Sabbath immediately following the child's birthday.

For the rabbis, the significance of this life-changing moment lay in the child's new stage of physical, intellectual, and moral development. They saw 12 and 13 as the ages at which girls and boys, respectively, were no longer entirely subject to impulse, but were beginning to develop a conscience. The term bar/bat mitzvah--which means "obligated to perform the Jewish mitzvot (commandments)"--reflects the child's newfound capabilities and responsibilities.

Bar/bat mitzvah is today celebrated as the moment when a child is obligated to observe the commandments. Yet much of its excitement derives from the fact that the bar/bat mitzvah ceremony is the first time the child actually performs, and is even allowed to perform, certain mitzvot (commandments). The bat/bar mitzvah celebration as we know it today is not simply the time when a child becomes obligated to observe the commandments: It is the time when children are first allowed to participate in and perform the various rituals associated with full membership in the community.

What are those things the men wear on their heads?

Wearing a head covering: A kippah, or head covering (called a yarmulke in Yiddish), is traditionally worn by males during the service and also by women in more liberal synagogues. Wearing a kippah is not a symbol of religious identification like the tallit, but is rather an act of respect to God and the sacredness of the worship space. Just as men and women may be asked to remove their hats in the church, or remove their shoes before entering a mosque, wearing a head covering is a non-denominational act of showing respect. In some synagogues, women may wear hats or a lace head covering.

What are those things the men (and some women) are wearing over their shoulders?

Wearing a prayer shawl: The tallit, or prayer shawl, is traditionally worn by Jewish males and, in liberal congregations, by Jewish women. Because the braided fringes at the four corners of the tallit remind its wearer to observe the commandments of Judaism, wearing a tallit is reserved for Jews. Although an usher may offer you a tallit at the door, you may decline it, whether you are not Jewish or are simply uncomfortable wearing such a garment.

During the service, when do I stand?

Sitting and standing: Jewish worship services can be very athletic, filled with frequent directions to stand for particular prayers and sit for others. Take your cue from the other worshippers or the rabbi's instructions. Unlike kneeling in a Catholic worship service--which is a unique prayer posture filled with religious significance--standing and sitting in a Jewish service does not constitute any affirmation of religious belief, it is merely a sign of respect. There may also be instructions to bow at certain parts of the service, and because a bow or prostration is a religiously significant act, feel free to remain standing or sitting as you wish at that point.

How should I behave during the service?

Maintaining sanctity: All guests and participants are expected to respect the sanctity of the prayer service and Shabbat by:

a) Setting your cell phone or beeper to vibrate or turning it off.

b) Not taking pictures. Many families hire photographers or videographers and would be pleased to take your order for a photo or video memento. In traditional settings, photography is strictly forbidden on Shabbat. (Note: There is no photography allowed at our synagogue on Saturdays. We will have a photographer for the party at the club. Feel free to bring your camera and take all the pictures you want at the party.)

c) Not smoking in the sanctuary, inside the building, or even on the synagogue grounds.

d) Not writing or recording tapes.

e) Not speaking during services. While you may see others around you chatting quietly--or even loudly--be aware that some synagogues consider this a breach of decorum. (Note: At our synagogue, there is a lot of chatting at times, but there are times when everyone is paying attention. Take your cue from those around you)

I don't read Hebrew? How will I know what's going on?

Following the service: Try to follow the service in the siddur, or prayerbook, and the Chumash, or Torah book, both of which are usually printed in Hebrew and English. Guests and congregants are encouraged to hum along during congregational melodies and to participate in the service to the extent that they feel comfortable. If you lose the page, you may quietly ask a neighbor for help (although it is better not to interrupt someone in the middle of a prayer). During the Torah service (described below), the entire congregation is encouraged to follow the reading of the weekly Torah portion in English or Hebrew