Now that we are into the second week of the reality series "Keeping It Real with Allen Iverson," here are some observations:

* Phyllis Diller Award - Philadelphia District Attorney Lynn Abraham. All that was missing from her press conference was a rim shot and a reminder to tip your waitress.

* A makeover story - Allen Iverson's mug shot. That picture makes Tyrone Hill look attractive.

* "Fashion Emergency" - Charles Jones.

* Mr. and Mrs. Jason Kidd Award for Staged Domestic Scene - The Iversons playing in the back yard.

* "That's My Mama" - Ann Iverson, who makes Sharon Osbourne look like a shrinking violet. Just ask the reporter who Ann told off.

* The Oprah Book Club - "New Jack Jocks" by Larry Platt, which includes a chapter about Iverson, is getting a ton of free publicity.

* The White Men Shouldn't Shave Their Heads Award - Larry Platt

* The lawyer posse - Tariq El Shabazz, Charles Peruto Jr. and Jerrold Colton. These guys love being on TV more than Regis Philbin.

* Phrases that need to be retired ASAP - "Keeping it real," "thug," "gangsta."

* Enabler Award - Larry Brown for calling Iverson a "kid" once again in his press conference.

* Keeping it real boring - Tuesday night's "Sportscenter" on ESPN ran 25 excruciating minutes of baseball highlights before reporting on Iverson's arraignment.

* Two thumbs up - Ann Iverson rented Eddie Murphy's concert film, fittingly titled "Delirious."

* "Cribs" - Iverson's mansion in Gladwyne is the area's No. 1 hotspot.

* Iverson Food Network - A reporter asked Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson what Iverson ate at the police station.

* The invisible men - Iverson's teammates on the Sixers. They've been as silent as Dikembe Mutombo's performances in the fourth quarter last season.

* Best line - Speaking before Iverson was arraigned, Jay Mohr of ESPN's "Mohr Sports" wondered, "If he can't show up to practice, how is he going to show up to jail on time?"

* Toughest critics of Iverson - WCAU's Howard Eskin and WPHL's Mike Missanelli

* Noncritic - WTXF's Don Tollefson, who has nothing to say if he isn't talking about a "good guy."

Great Scott

Stuart Scott's star continues to rise on ESPN. The "Sportscenter" anchor will succeed Mike Tirico as host of "Monday Night Countdown" beginning July 29. Tom Jackson, Sterling Sharpe, Chris Mortensen and our own Ron Jaworski return to the show.

Jaws also will do four Eagles preseason games on WPHL beginning Aug. 10. Kenny Albert will handle the play-by-play.

Laura Nachman writes about television and radio sports for the Courier Times. Write her in care of the Courier Times, 8400 Route 13, Levittown, PA 19057, fax 215-949-4177 or email bradyresident@aol.com.

July 19, 2002