Air Waves
by Laura Nachman
August 18, 2005

Here are my television losers of the summer.

Television Shows Adapted for the Movies – “The Honeymooners” with Cedric the Entertainer will go down as one of the biggest busts in movie history.  After this summer’s “Bewitched” and last summer’s “The Stepford Wives,” Nicole Kidman should be banned for life from making any more movies based on TV shows.

Whitney Houston on “Being Bobby Brown” (Bravo) – While contemporary Mariah Carey looks great, and has one of the big hits of the summer (“We Belong Together”), the former “Queen of the Night” is performing by singing along to other people’s hits on the radio.

Comedy Central – The network learned its highest rated show, “The Chappelle Show” won’t return because of undisclosed reasons of star Dave Chappelle.

Brooke Burke on “Rock Star: INXS” (CBS) – If the show returns next year (how about finding a new lead singer for Van Halen), let’s replace boring Burke with co-host Dave Navarro’s wife Carmen Electra.

“Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” (Bravo)– A show hasn’t burned out this fast since “The Weakest Link.”

“Big Brother 6” (CBS) – Why should we watch nobodies live in a house when celebrities (“Surreal Life”) oblige?

Janice Dickinson in “Surreal Life” (VH1) – The self-proclaimed “super-model” manages to come off worse in this show than on “America’s Next Top Model” and makes Omarosa seem well-behaved.

NBC and Reality Shows – Throw “I Want to Be A Hilton,” “Average Joes Strike Back,” and “Meet Mr. Mom,” onto the trash heap of reality flops.

Kill Reality – Other reality shows that are already forgotten include “Kept,” “R U The Girl,” “That 70’s House,” “Minding the Store,” “The Real Gilligan’s Island,” “Law Firm,” “Hooking Up,” “Situation:  Comedy,” “Cattle Drive,” “Hogan Knows Best,” and “Kill Reality.”

Live 8 – The all-day music event was a ratings disaster for ABC and hurt the reputation of MTV.

“Welcome to the Neighborhood” (ABC) – The controversial reality series where a family chooses its neighbors never made it to the air.

Corey Clark – The “American Idol” also-ran’s allegations that he had an affair with judge Paula Abdul were refuted by a Fox investigation, which probably went something like this: 
Investigators – “Paula, did you have an affair with Corey Clark?” 
Paula Abdul – “No.”
Investigators – “That’s good enough for us.  Thank you